Joy’s Weight Loss Journey

I don’t have any motivation to do the stuff I need to do; school and diet wise.

I’ve been upset that I’m not at home because the holidays mean so much to my mom and I.  It’s almost like we live for it.  And I miss her.  I love being with her celebrating Christmas and Thanksgiving; shopping, cooking, whatever..  I love seeing her face when we put up the tree. I love giving her her gifts, waking her up with breakfast Christmas morning…

And with all the Christmas stuff arriving in the stores, this has been driving me crazy.

And now my brother is sick.  I don’t think any of us believe he’ll make it through the next week.  I’m eating myself up because I’m not able to be there for my family.  I was always a rock for my dad, who is the rock for my mom… who is really the heart of our family.  And I’m dying not being able to be there.  I’m regretting not going to school closer to home.  I wish I had at times, but I know this is a better school for me.  I just miss home so much… I feel like I abandoned my parents.   I was the one who helped my mom stay stable when my grandmother died.  Now I’m not there and I don’t know what she’s going to do…

I know when I look back on this some of it will seem silly.  I’m almost overreacting,  but it’s the truth on how I feel now.

Sorry I’m just kind of venting. I’m at a loss as to how I’m supposed to be acting or feeling right now.

It’s been 20 days since I posted a blog.  Wow, is October going by quickly!! so far,

-I’ve turned 19

-My nephew turned 3, and I’m sad to say it’s the first of many of his birthdays I’ll be

-Hubby trying to get in shape as well, which is great

-School is going [mostly] well.  I’m now trying to figure out what classes to take next semester!

-I’m getting into a regimine of working out at the gym

-Lunch and BF are down with being healthy, dinner is still being worked on–which is okay, baby steps.

-I’m trying desperately to find a job.

Week of  10/19-10/26

I’ve worked out Sun-Tues, taking a break today due to Soreness!! I’ve never worked out at that intensity before. YIKES! Mon & Tues I worked out for over 90 minutes in each chase total.. which hurts.  Only time I did that was way back in march and all I did was walk, walk WALK on the treadmill.  Now I’m doing the elliptical, started weights yesterday (which I think is the reason for the major ouches in my shoulders) and am trying to get started with the couch to 5K program.  I lose motivation on this, but everything else is pretty consistant.  I plan on taking it easy tomorrow, probably just 30-40 minutes on the elliptical & if I’m not too sore a little bit of weights.

I’ve been good all this week except that dinner last night was McDonalds. Bad, I know! But I figure, I’ll just make it my cheat meal for the week instead of havinf it on Saturday like I normally do.  The Monopoly stuff is killing me! I want to yell at them for encouraging obesity since they don’t offer the Monopoly pieces on salads! LOL But I’m too good of a person for that.

Two more days for me, six more classes left this week!

So far today I’ve had :

1.5 cup cheerioes

1 cup milk (total = 295 calories)

PB sandwich

I’m hoping to hit the gym soon (if I can finish this assignment) and then I’ll be eating the rest of my lunch.  Dinner is seafood salad, mmm mmm good!

Edit:

No workout.

Dinner: Chicken & pasta salad. mmm.  and sweet tea. :\

Today I decided to measure out my cereal for the hell of it (I was doing it every day then stopped)  I dished out my normal amount then poured it into a measuring cup to see how much I’d been eating.  Two cups!!!! Good god, and nearly the same of milk?! So I definitely need to get portions under control.

Lunch was a PB Sandwich and a granola bard

Dinner a 6 in roast beef sub with lettuce and tomatoes! and a brocoli salad, so not too bad.  The salad had RAISINS in it..which was surprisingly good!!

I also had some brownies. I baked our new neighbors a cake when they moved in and they returned the cake pan, with some brownies!

Not too bad since I think I did well today.  I went to the gym again and amped up my exercise some, I added 7 more minutes on the exercise bike (which I use as my cool down) In all I burned about 450-475 calories.  Pretty darn good!

I also got in 5 water bottles today– a little over 100 OZ.  aside from the brownies, I did pretty damn good! Watching the Biggest Loser helps me a lot with putting things in perspective.